Many men hesitate when it comes to approaching someone they find interesting because they worry about not knowing what to say or running out of conversation topics. Allow me to show you how easy it can be to have engaging conversations, with girls using insights, from psychology and the following six steps.
1. Priming
2. Responds with Stories
3. Asking "why" three times
4. Use Objects Around You to Make Your Conversation
5. I want you to laugh to emotionally manipulate her into thinking she's having a great time
6. Not give up everything
1. Priming
It's really interesting how the idea of priming can actually have an impact, on how people behave. For example it has been shown that certain words can influence whether someone acts rudely or politely. In a study participants were split into three groups. The first group was exposed to words like bold and aggressive the second group saw words that didn't carry much meaning and the third group read polite words like patient and respectful. After waiting for ten minutes it was observed that 60% of those in the rude word group interrupted the researchers whereas those, in the two groups showed patience. Now let us explore how we can use priming techniques when communicating with her starting with text messages.
"Hey have you ever met someone? Instantly felt this comfort like you've known them forever? That's how I'm feeling now. Just wanted to share that with you." You can text this to start up a conversation.
When it comes to your date keep up that flirty vibe. You don't have to be too serious, about it. For example during a moment in the day you could say something like "So what should we name our three kids?" It will definitely make her laugh. Who knows? She might even play along. Give you some names she likes. Remember this is, for fun!
I won't lie; I used this line on my wife now we already have two kids. Just thought I'd share that with you guys!
2. Responds with Stories
Alright so you've prepared her. Got her in the mindset. That alone won't keep the conversation flowing indefinitely. That's where tips two through five come into play. I suggest using stories to respond to her questions. See, the reason you sometimes struggle to come up with things to say is that you tend to give simple yes or no answers. Instead try capturing people's imagination through storytelling. Stories are easier to understand and more engaging, than providing responses.
Let us take a topic like the weather for example. Everyone tends to default to the line "Wow the weather is nice today " because they don't have much else to say about it. But of responding with a Yes it is," Let us try something different, let's respond with a story.
So if she says something like "The weather has been really nice " you could reply by saying, "Yes it certainly has! In fact this lovely weather has allowed me to spend time outside. I've recently taken up long distance running, like marathon running."
By adding some storytelling elements and personal experiences into your response you can make the conversation more interesting. Keep it going smoothly like, I've been exploring parts of the city that I haven't seen before. It feels like a mini vacation every time I step outside. It's incredibly relaxing especially when the weather is great. Speaking of which it's interesting how a simple conversation, about the weather can lead to finding ground and even sharing stories. From there you can ask her what she enjoys doing for fun. The beauty of this approach is that you can apply it to any topic and keep the conversation going.
3. Asking "why" three times
Asking why three times during a conversation helps deepen your connection with her. It also ensures that you'll never run out of things to talk about because you always have a goal of understanding her perspective by asking why times. Here's how you can put it into practice; let's say she mentions something like how she has been enjoying reading books as an escape. Your why" could be asking why she feels the need for an escape. She might respond by saying her job is quite stressful. Then your why" would be asking why her job is so stressful. She might then delve deeper into it. Mention how her boss constantly nags at her for no reason.
By following this approach not will she feel more connected, to you during conversations. Also there will always be plenty to discuss based on understanding each other better.
You know I often wish I had the freedom to be my boss. Have you ever thought about why you're not your boss? Maybe you should consider starting something on your own. It's a concept known as branching, where we explore paths in a conversation.
So here's the thing. When it comes to having a conversation you can start with a topic. Then explore aspects of it to really get to know the person. The questions you ask the deeper you can go into subjects and the more you'll learn about her. And the best part is that each conversation will lead to topics so you'll never run out of things to talk about.
4. Use Objects Around You to Make Your Conversation
Now let's talk about making your conversations even better through communication. It's not just, about the words you say; it extends beyond that. You can use visuals, like gestures, props and what you wear to enhance your message and make it more engaging. Also don't underestimate the power of status cues like your watch, clothes or glasses. These things can increase your appeal. Elevate your social status in a conversation. Lastly consider using space to create attraction by getting physical.
To give you an example of how this works imagine a guy who is all tensed up with constrictive body language while wearing a hoodie; he might come across as nervous or closed off.
Now picture this; there's a guy who's 10 feet away, from that girl. Then there's another guy, who has an engaging presence. He's dressed in a button down shirt and wears a stylish watch on his wrist. He's standing at a distance around three to five feet away, from her. So which conversation seems captivating to you?
5. I want you to laugh to emotionally manipulate her into thinking she's having a great time
This phenomenon is known as contagion, where emotions can spread from one person to another. When you approach someone, with a mindset and a smile they are more likely to respond. As humans we tend to mimic the expressions of the emotions we observe subconsciously and within a matter of seconds or minutes without even realizing it. So how can you apply this concept? Well when you approach someone make sure you have a smile and open body language. Through contagion she will also respond with a smile. Open up her body language, which will create a positive atmosphere. This will make her believe that she's having a time with you. Once you've established this connection you can deploy strategies that I've previously taught you. Now that you understand how to keep a conversation going successfully your ultimate goal should be to make her want to continue talking with you. You want her to feel eager to send the text message or call you first. Remember this last point is crucial, for achieving that goal.
6. Not give up everything
When she asks you a question it's best not to reveal everything, about yourself. For example if she asks about your hobbies, instead of listing them all once like going to the gym doing Jiu Jitsu or playing video games try sharing one hobby in detail. Let's say she asks about your hobbies. You mention Jiu-Jitsu. You can talk about how you started this journey a year ago and how it has brought clarity and humility to your life. Being around individuals who could potentially overpower you but still show respect, for the art form has made it one of your favorite hobbies recently. By responding this way she might realize that there's more to discover about your interests and will likely continue asking questions out of curiosity. Curiosity is a driver that keeps interest alive.
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