In todays world dating has changed significantly from the way it was, in the 2000s. Of meeting and talking face to face we now rely on platforms like Tinder. Sliding into DMs. This shift has made the dating scene less romantic and more confusing.
Unfortunately people nowadays tend to avoid expressing their feelings. Would rather avoid addressing issues. In 2019 dating is often characterized by pride and resilience. Than confronting problems with someone they're interested in many prefer to repeat the cycle of casual conversations without really getting to the heart of the matter. This new generation has introduced forms of "dating" that might seem unfamiliar to those who adhere to traditional approaches. We have concepts like the talking stage friends with benefits and casual dating.. Rarely do we discuss the consequences.
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So what exactly is ghosting?
Ghosting occurs when one person abruptly disappears from a relationship without any explanation or closure slowly fading away. This leaves the person who was ghosted wondering what went wrong and feeling insecure about themselves. While ghosting isn't a phenomenon (it dates back, to when house phones were invented) our modern age has given it a name. Turned it into a trend.
There are types of situations associated with being ghosted;
1) The Fader; I call this one the fader because it happen gradually. This person, whom you used to talk to every day, have lunch breaks with and also go on dates with gradually becomes someone you communicate with less and less until eventually you stop talking to them and become strangers. It's possible that this person has found someone new and is spending time with them or they are avoiding the awkwardness of telling you that they are no longer interested, in you.
2) The constant fader; This is a bit different from the fader ghosting. The toxic ghost is someone you have a connection, with envision a long term future together. Something either of you does prevents it. This ghost always comes up with excuses for not taking the relationship to the level. Unexpectedly disappears during arguments or out of the blue. Whats interesting about this situation is that they leave without explanation only to reappear later thinking they still have a hold on you when in reality it will always be a game.
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3) The perfect one; This particular ghost plays with your emotions. They make you feel comfortable let your guard down and fulfill the image of the " someone" you've always wanted in your life.. After getting intimate... They vanish.
4) Too attached; This ghost becomes overly clingy and manipulative. They blame their relationships on their partner. Declare that you are everything to them... Too soon. They try to rush into a connection, with you making things awkward. After expressing your concerns and asking to slow things down they disappear without a trace.
5) Serial ghost; This individual is a dater who despises commitment and avoids developing feelings at any cost.
They have experienced it in the past. Will never share any details, about their relationships or anything that might create an emotional connection, with you. This person tends to move on looking for experiences without getting too attached. They believe in enjoying the present than focusing on long term commitments.
Why do you think people do this?
The main reason why individuals choose to ghost is to avoid having conversations or confrontations, about the relationship. People tend to fear what they don't directly address. They believe that by ignoring it the problem will somehow be resolved without causing harm to anyone.
Is it the act Ghosting morally acceptable?
It is considered wrong to ignore someone you were once genuinely interested in without providing any explanation. This act of cowardice not damages the self esteem of the person being ghosted. Also leads them to question their own worth and confidence.
It's a game of ghosting or being ghosted.
In the 21st century we find ourselves in a cycle of being left on "read" or leaving others on "read." It becomes a power play where one holds the key to re entering someones life. It may not be fair. Its a reality. You. Need to be socially adept enough to address these situations or simply let them go because some individuals lack the strength to confront problems head on. As pride clashes with ego this generation seems focused on gaining validation rather than nurturing genuine romantic connections.
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What should you do if you're ghosted?
If you find yourself in a situation where you've been ghosted there are two options;
1. Move forward with your life. Focus on opportunities.
2. Address the issue directly with the person who has ghosted you.
Remember there are potential partners out there waiting for you and every day brings new opportunities, for meeting interesting people.
Don't bother dwelling on someone who doesn't care about you. Time is precious so invest it in people who appreciate your vibes. Keep in mind that even if someone has done you wrong always strive to be a good person and never let their actions define you.
If you have a connection, with the ghost and seek answers try reaching out to them. Express your concerns openly and honestly sharing your feelings and desire to understand. The effective approach would be to communicate through a phone call or, in person conversation. By catching them off guard you are more likely to receive a response that brings closure. Avoid relying on text messages as they may allow the ghost to fabricate excuses or choose not to respond