When we think about abuse, Physics abuse usually comes to some people's mind first. However it's important to recognize that an abusive relationship can take a form and is just as serious, as physical abuse. In fact emotional abuse often precedes abuse.
If you're unsure whether you're experiencing abuse in your relationship here are some signs to look out for;
- Raising your voice or yelling at you
- Engaging in name calling or using insults to belittle you
- Attempting to undermine your sanity by making you question yourself (known as gaslighting)
- Invading your privacy without consent
- Punishing you when you don't comply with their wishes
- Trying to control every aspect of your life
- Isolating you from your loved ones and friends
- Making subtle or overt threats towards you
If you have experienced emotional abuse please remember that it is not your fault. There is no right way to feel about it either.
While emotional abuse may not be considered normal or healthy within a relationship it's essential to acknowledge and validate the feelings that arise from experiences.
To learn more about the effects of abuse and how to seek assistance continue reading.
Short term effects of being in a relationship can often involve denial.
It can be quite shocking when one realizes they are in such a situation.
You might also experience emotions, like;
- Confusion
- Fear
- Hopelessness
- Shame
These feelings can also have an impact on your behavior and physical well being. You might notice;
- Difficulty focusing
- Changes in mood
- Muscle tension
- Disturbing dreams
- Increased heart rate
- Discomforts
Furthermore long term emotional abuse can have similar effects to physical abuse.
Over time both emotional abuse can be as powerful as physical abuse and can contribute to a decrease in self confidence and the onset of depression.
Additionally you may develop;
- Anxiety
- Chronic pain
- Feelings of guilt
- Insomnia
- A tendency to withdraw socially or feel lonely
Some researchers even suggest that emotional abuse could be linked to the development of conditions, like fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia.
Is there a difference, in how it affects children?
Similar to adults, emotional abuse of children can go unnoticed.
If a child is being emotionally abused they may exhibit the signs;
- Withdrawing
- Regressing in their behavior
- Experiencing sleep disturbances
If these conditions are left unresolved they can persist into adulthood and make individuals more susceptible to further mistreatment.
While most children who have experienced abuse do not grow up to become abusers themselves some research suggests that those who were abused during childhood may be more inclined towards engaging in behaviors than adults who did not experience abuse.
Furthermore adults who endured abuse or neglect as children may have an increased likelihood of developing health issues including;
- Eating disorders
- Headaches
- Heart disease
- health disorders
- Obesity
- Substance use disorders
Can emotional abuse lead, to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)?
Emotional abuse does not always result in PTSD; however Yes, it is possible.
PTSD can arise after experiencing a shocking event. If you consistently experience levels of stress or fear over a period of time that significantly impairs your daily functioning your doctor may diagnose you with PTSD. Other signs and symptoms of Post Stress Disorder (PTSD) include;
- Experiencing outbursts
- Being easily startled
- Having negative thoughts
- Difficulty sleeping (insomnia)
- Disturbing nightmares
- Reliving the traumatic event through flashbacks, accompanied by physical symptoms, like a rapid heartbeat
In children PTSD can also manifest as;
- Bed wetting
- Clinginess
- Reverting to earlier behaviors or developmental stages (regression)
There are factors that may increase the likelihood of developing PTSD, such as;
- Previous exposure to events particularly during childhood
- A history of mental illness or substance abuse
- Lack of a support system
Treatment, for PTSD often involves therapy and the use of antidepressant medications.
When you're ready to begin recovering from a relationship it's important to acknowledge that the effects can have both mental and physical manifestations. However it's essential to remember that what works for one person may not necessarily work for another.
When you're ready to take the step it can be beneficial to start by considering the following suggestions;
1. Seek out support;
Remember you don't have to face this. Reach out to a trusted friend or family member who will listen without judgment. If thats not possible there are support groups, for individuals who have gone through experiences of abuse or trauma.
2. Engage in activity;
Exercise goes beyond keeping you physically fit. Research indicates that engaging in intensity exercises or a combination of moderate aerobics and muscle strengthening activities for at least 90 minutes per week can have various benefits;
- Improve your sleep quality
- Help maintain mental sharpness
- Decrease the risk of depression
Even simpler activities like taking a daily walk can be advantageous.
3. Connections;
It's essential to recognize that social isolation can gradually occur without us realizing it which is something we want to avoid. Having friends around can aid in your healing process. Remember, discussing your problems with them is optional; they can still provide support by being there, for you.
Sometimes just having a time, with others and feeling included can do wonders for your mood. Here are a few ideas to consider;
- Give a call to a friend you haven't connected with in a while for a friendly chat.
- Plan a movie outing. Grab a meal with a close friend.
- Even if you feel like staying try accepting an invitation, from someone else once in a while.
- Joining a class or club can be a way to meet people and expand your social circle.
Remember it's the moments of connection that can bring joy and lift your spirits!
4. Mind your diet;
Taking care of your diet is essential. Emotional abuse can really mess with your eating habits causing you to either eat much little or make unhealthy choices.
Here are some tips to maintain your energy levels and minimize mood swings;
- Include a variety of fruits, vegetables and lean protein in your meals.
- Make sure to have balanced meals throughout the day.
- Avoid bingeing or skipping meals altogether.
- Steer clear of alcohol and drugs.
- Stay away, from fried and highly processed foods.
Prioritizing rest is also crucial as fatigue can drain your energy and cloud your thinking.
Here are some ways to promote a nights sleep;
- Establish a bedtime routine by going to bed and waking up at the same time every day. Aim for seven hours of sleep each night.
- Engage in relaxing activities during the hour before bedtime.
- Keep gadgets out of the bedroom.
- Use room darkening window shades for sleep quality.
Additionally you can manage stress by practicing relaxation techniques such, as;
- Listening to soothing music
- Trying aromatherapy
- Practicing breathing exercises
- Engaging in yoga or meditation
- Exploring tai chi
It may seem counterintuitive but volunteering your time can actually help reduce stress, anger and depression.
Consider getting involved with a cause that resonates with you and give it a shot.
Knowing when to seek assistance in an abusive relationship can vary from person to person.
Some individuals may find that making lifestyle changes is sufficient it's completely understandable if you feel the need for support.
You might benefit from counseling if you;
- Find yourself avoiding situations altogether
- Experience feelings of depression
- Frequently feel fearful or anxious
- Have recurring nightmares or flashbacks
- Struggle to fulfill your responsibilities
- Have difficulty sleeping
- Turn to alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism
There are various approaches available such, as talk therapy, support groups and cognitive behavioral therapy that can help address the impact of emotional abuse.
Tips, for finding a therapist
If you decide to seek help it's important to find someone who specializes in emotional abuse or trauma. Here are a few steps you can take;
- Consult your primary care physician or another trusted doctor. Ask for a recommendation.
- Reach out to friends and family. Inquire if they have any recommendation.
- Contact your hospital and inquire if they have mental health professionals available.
- Explore the American Psychological Association database for therapists.
- Visit FindAPsychologist.org to search their database.
Once you have a list of therapists it's essential to schedule Q&A sessions with them over the phone. During these sessions consider asking the following questions;
- What are your credentials? Do you possess the licensing?
- How much experience do you have in dealing with abuse cases?
- How do you approach therapy? Please note that this might not be determined until after the therapist conducts their assessment of your concerns.
- What is your fee structure?
- Do you accept my health insurance? If not would it be possible to arrange a payment plan or sliding scale?
Remember that finding the therapist may take some time and effort on your part. After your visit reflect on these questions;
- Did you feel comfortable enough to open up to the therapist?
- Did it seem like the therapist understood and treated you with respect?
- Do you feel positive about scheduling another session?
Take your time in making this decision as finding a therapist is crucial, for effective therapy.
Going to see a therapist once doesn't necessarily mean you have to continue with them. It's completely okay to explore options until you find the match, for you. Remember, you deserve to find the fit, for your needs.